“Hey, I think we should get tested for HIV together”. It sounds really simple, but asking your partner to get tested with you can be terrifying. Lots of people have this conversation with their partners every day. Still, it's normal to be nervous when you first start talking.
Here are some ways to ask:
Make it a favour: “I want to take an HIV test but I am really nervous, will you get tested with me?”
Make it Your Rule (that way they don’t think it’s about them). “I have one golden rule when I date. Before we have sex, we both get tested together so that we are safe.”
Make up a reason: “I just found out a cousin / friend of mine has HIV. I am so shocked and I want us both to get tested immediately.” Or “I had a really bad HIV scare once so now I am super-careful. I never want to go through that stress again! No way!”
Make it a promise: “I promised my father / mother / pastor I would never sleep with someone before I see their HIV test. No exceptions - even for you Bra Sexy! So let’s get that detail over with and then we can have fun.”
Make it light and easy: Choose a good moment, grab their hand and say, “Hey I’m crazy about you, but I want us to take an HIV test before we share the good stuff” or “Have you had an HIV test? C’mon let’s get it over with.”
Never have sex with a lover without using a condom. That’s how you stay safe and beat the HIV odds.